hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
