What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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