I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
