every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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