Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
