Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
