I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
