Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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