I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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