dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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