I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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