I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
