so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
