i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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