So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
