HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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