Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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