well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
They took my balls.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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