dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
