ugly people sure do ruin things
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
