I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
