I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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