I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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