He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
