I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
