Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
