my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
