You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
