White coat. Heels.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
