He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
