I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
