Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
