Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
