Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
