maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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