I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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