So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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