quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize