DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
MIDGETS
????
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
