If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
