Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He better not be in your backpack
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
