oh god the rape fog is back!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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