now i know why i became what i already was.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize