Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
