Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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