he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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