Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
