I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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