Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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