please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
