The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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