I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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