they need to just BURY HIM!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You are the jesus of drinking
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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