you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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