oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
