My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
