What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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