end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize