She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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